Life has been busy, tons of work, working on my thesis, studying for my residency exam, looking at patients, going out to the communities that surround Cotija to take labs, ultrasounds. Bottom line, it's been busy.
Two weeks ago, I got sick. The kind of sick that you actually pray not to get while having to work without the possibility to rest. (Sometimes I wonder if this "Intern" thing means "paid slave"). I was feeling like shit, there's no possible way to sugar coat it.
During my period of illness I caught myself, more than once, thinking "Why can't people STOP complaining! I feel worse than them. Can't they SEE that?" And it hit me. I was acting completely selfish. I was acting like the kind of doctor I vowed never to become. I was taking the human that wanted to take care of people out of me.
I realized that what I was doing was taking out of the medicine the only part that I actually love about it. Yeah, I'm good with science, so it's not a terrible burden (well now that is. A few years back I completely hated myself for choosing this path) But the thing that make my day brighter, is when a person tells me "Thank you so much; you cured me, you made me feel better, my daughter is healthy now, I am happy, I am more calm; Thank you for listening." Those "thank yous" make my tiresome, no paid job worth every hour I spend on it.
I was forgetting that these past few weeks. Until three days ago. Three days ago, I came across an old patient; Maria. Maria is an eighty something year old lady, whom I met at the beginning of my year in Cotija. A few months ago she had a stroke, so she has to be treated at a bigger city not far away from here. She just got back this week.
The minute she saw me, she smiled and screamed my name across the street. When I got to her, she hugged me so hard, and kissed me, and told me how happy she was to see me. That moment right there, reminded me of all the good things that have happened to me.
That moment reminded me that I am so lucky to have people that love me, to have a family that cares for me. To be working on a town with people like Maria, that even after all they have been through, they still have a smile on their faces for everyone. She made me feel so loved, I actually forgot about my splitting headache.
Lesson learned; even on the loneliest moments, we are not alone. There is someone there that loves us, there will always be someone there to remind us of it. There may be haters, but there are people that will thank us for what we do. If we give, what we get back feels a thousand times better. And I am so, so very lucky for everyone around me.
THANK YOU.
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